NEVER SAY NEVER

I saw an oncologist today.  He is at the Lancaster Cancer Center.  Yes, now I am in a club I never wanted to be in.  Actually I not much of a clubber of any kind.  But to be a "Cancer Survivor"?  Well, now that I put it that way I guess I do want to be.  At least I hope I'll be a survivor.

From the first diagnosis in 2009 I swore and declared to anyone who would listen that I would not, under any circumstances, have chemo.  Losing my hair, throwing up, or constantly feeling like I was going to, stumbling around due to neuropathy, getting chemo brain was not for me.  I'd rather be dead thank you very much.

So I had two surgeries, one on the right, which was a lobectomy and then nearly 2-1/2 years later a wedge resection on the left.  I was told they got all the cancer on the right.  The left lung still had some cancer cells.  I thought, well that's okay, we'll just wait and see what happens.  What happened was the latest P.E.T. showed new areas of concern.  
The pulmonary doctor, hereafter known as Dr. B. said all he could do for me was make sure I was comfortable, get x-rays to make sure it hadn't metastasized to the bones and then just put me on morphine until I floated away.  Oh if only it were that easy.

I asked Dr. B about targeted chemo or something less toxic than what was prescribed for me last May.  He said "YES" and while I was in his office he called his friend "Tracy" hereafter known as Dr. D who has a cancer center and who does genetic testing on the tumor tissues and uses drugs tailored to your particular cancer.  That sounded like something I should explore.

Today I met with Dr. D.  I liked him.  He reminded me of my first surgeon Dr. Thompson, who was really wonderful and who both Dr. B and Dr. D liked very much.  Anyway, Dr. D
took lots of time, pulled up my C.A.T. and my P.E.T. scans and showed me what was going on in these lungs of mine.  I did not like what I saw and neither did he.  He said the new areas should be biopsied so we know what kind of cancer we are dealing with.  Also he said they are very close to the ribs and he wants to halt their growth before they invade.  He made an appointment for me to see an intervention radiologist, who I will see Feb. 13.  Hopefully they will be able to do the biopsy and get the pathology report back to Dr. D, so we can get this show on the road.

He told me I should have carboplatin and that the drugs they use now are not nearly as toxic, nor do they have the side effects of the drugs they used to use.  He will also see if I'm a candidate for targeted drug therapy, ie drugs that attack the cancer cells and not all the good stuff.  He said he would put me on a low dose - every day for a week and then off for 3 weeks to see how I do.  He said it's up to me.  Whatever I want to do.

I said I realized they cannot cure me, but I asked if he thought the chemo would halt the progression of the cancer to the bones and other organs.  He said Yes.  I asked him how long I would have to stay on the chemo and he said that would depend on how well I do.

So that's it for now.  I guess I'll give it a try.  The alternative does not sound real appealing, not that this does.  But at least it's a nice place, the people are good and caring, there is a support group, he trained under Dr. Harvey at the Hershey Medical Center, who was my brother's doctor, so I think I'm in good hands.

I vascillate between feeling hopeful and wanting to cry my eyes out.  Tom has been wonderful.  I feel really bad laying all this on him.  He went through it with his wife, Anne, and now me.  I am so glad I have him.