HAPPINESS

The song says "Happiness is just a thing called Joe..."  Now I don't know if they mean Joe, (well I do have a brother, Joe who makes me happy) or Joe a cuppa coffee or what, but I think happiness is a state of mind and right now, for whatever reason that I really don't want to explore too deeply, I am HAPPY.  Maybe I have a fever.  I know I'm not smoking anything, I'm not taking any uppers - well, unless Tylenol and oxycodone are uppers.  And I'm not even taking them unless the pain gets really pretty bad.  I'm sure not drinking anything stronger than ginger ale and I'm pretty sure that doesn't have any liquor in it.  I mean it doesn't even contain caffeine for heaven sake.  So why am I happy?

Well let me count the ways.  I live in a house that's all mine.  All paid for and in a lovely quiet neighborhood.  I have no outstanding debts.  I have wonderful friends and a family who love me.  I have a live in boyfriend who keeps me entertained.  I've lived a pretty good life, with some exceptions... up until now.

It's the now that is the not so happy part, but believe it or not, I'm okay with it.  That could change tomorrow, but for today I'm okay.  Having cancer is a real eye opener.  It teaches you things about yourself that you think by this time you would know, but there's always something new to learn.  It teaches you the value of life, of friendship, of your value to others.  It brings out the best in everything and everybody.  It teaches you to appreciate the little pleasures, like a perfect June day, and  a juicy ripe strawberry, a good nap.  The kindness of strangers who hold the door open for you when they see you walking with a cane.  A smile.

I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers from a friend today - just because.  And I got an e-mail and a phone call from another friend - just to say hello.  It not only makes me happy, but humble to know that people care - like Sally Field in her unforgettable Oscar speech " you really like me, you really, really like me."  Well, who wouldn't feel happy after all this attention.  If I had known having cancer would bring me all this attention, I would have done it sooner.  Oh scratch that, I really don't mean it.  But the point is, it is truly wonderful to know that people care about you and will miss you when you are no longer around.

So let's hope this happiness bug that I've got sticks around and that it's contagious.  Like the song says "don't worry, be happy."  It makes you feel good and it sure beats being miserable.