IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE

I was awakened this morning by Tom who was shaking me and shouting "you must turn on the tv".  Before I even had time to open my eyes, he'd grabbed the remote.  The sound was deafening, even to my one good ear.  "What's wrong?"  "Did someone shoot the new pope?"  "Did Dennis Rodman incite the North Koreans to nuke the U.S."   I mean, it was 5:30 a.m.  Something catastrophic must have happened.

"It's the Nutribullet.  You gotta see this.  If you buy it now there's free shipping and a cookbook."  By this time I was fully awake, but he continued on about how I had to call the number on the screen and get my credit card.

Now in case you're wondering what brought on this excitement so early in the morning, yesterday my friend Lana was here to guide me to a healthier way of eating.  Since I am about to have poisons pumped into my body which will hopefully kill the cancer cells, or at least hold them at bay, and also destroy the good cells in the process, she said we want to boost my immune system, so that I can fight off any germs that come my way.  She gave me suggestions as to various foods I should be eating, ones to avoid, ie (the stuff I really like, you know, like cake, pie, ice cream, etc).  But she was not preachy, she's gently guided me to a list of foods that are high in fiber, low in fat and are well known to be cancer fighting.  

She introduced me to the concept of drinking smoothies in the morning.  Green smoothies in particular.  Blended in the you guessed it the "Nutribullet".  She told me how easy it is to use and only takes three minutes and it's easy to clean.  She said you can use a blender, but she found the "Nutribullet" works really well.  A couple years ago I bought a Jack LaLaine juicer which is good, but a real pain in the a... to clean and as a result, it sets in the closet collecting dust.  Anyway, I thought maybe I'd look into selling it and maybe going to Bed, Bath and Beyond to look at this "Nutribullet" thing.

I was really hoping when I told Tom that Lana would be coming to talk to me about diet and healthy eating he would do his usual  "I don't want to hear about that stuff" and go somewhere, which he did for about an hour.  When he came back was when she and I were having lunch and she was talking about kale and other greens that she puts in her morning smoothies.  That is when Tom heard about the Nutribullet and that is why the rude awakening this morning.

To make a long and probably boring story short, I stumbled out of bed, got my credit card and dialed the number.  Yes I will be getting a "Nutribullet", free shipping and 200 page cookbook filled with recipes and instructions.  No I am not buying a 25 year warranty (are you kidding me, in 25 years I'll be 101) and I am not buying extra mugs, magazines and whatever else the person on the phone was trying to sell me.  Actually I sort of tuned out after the 25 year warranty offer and just kept saying no, just the "Nutribullet."

In about 10 days it will arrive and I will go to the produce department of Wegmans and buy the most nutrient rich leafy greens I can find.  Go to the health food store and stock up on sprouted wheat bread, natural nut butters, seeds, etc.  I will endeavor to get going on this program and succeed and be a walking testimonial to this "Nutribullet".

This coming Monday (March 18) when I see dear Dr. DeGreen at the Cancer Center I will tell him that I intend to be a model patient and begin Georgie's Adventure in Chemo-land.  He will be so proud.  And I will be Lana's prize pupil.