ONE LIFE TO LIVE (MAYBE)



Sometimes I feel like I'm watching a movie and I am the starring character.    And right now, it's a pretty boring movie.  The days fly by so quickly that I've renamed Friday "Friday Already?"  One week blends into another.  It takes so long to accomplish anything.  What I used to do in a few hours takes a week.  Every morning (sometime before noon) when I get up I think about what I'm going to do that day and before you know it, I am getting ready for bed.  Another day gone and other than making breakfast, lunch, dinner and cleaning up nothing much gets done.   

Not that I'm making excuses, well okay I am making excuses, but until I get up and move around for awhile I never know how I'm going to feel.  Some days I feel remarkably well, other days - not so good.  That's one of the reasons I hate to make plans to do anything like meeting friends for lunch.  A friend was going to drive up from VA to see me last week and I had to call her and tell her not to come.  Who wants to try to be entertaining when you feel like crap?

Funny thing is though this all may sound pretty depressing,  I am not depressed.  Emotionally I'm doing well.  I try not to complain about any ailments, I enjoy every day to the best of my ability.  I am loving my Kindle books and T.V. shows, and yes I do watch a soap opera every day, but only one.  Do not call between 12:30 and 1:30.

A friend once said the reason she didn't like memoirs was because there was no plot.  That didn't make sense to me then and it still doesn't.  Does anyone's life have a plot?  Do any of us know what's going to happen next?  Isn't that what makes life exciting?  I know it does for me.  Anytime I hear of someone committing suicide I think, "oh no, they won't know what will happen next."  They've ended their story before the last line was written.

Even though my last chapter is about to be written, I am interested in knowing what's going to happen next.  And will I come back?  And if I come back, do I get to choose what I'll be in the next life.  Will it be human or animal.  I wouldn't mind coming back as a tropical fish living in St. John's beautiful tropical waters.  Or how about a beautiful bird in the rain forest.  Or can you time travel?.  Could I come back as someone who lived in the past, a great actress; Sarah Bernhardt maybe.  Or not.  I don't think she had such a wonderful life.  Part of me thinks I have been here before and I think I was an actor.  That's probably why I loved the theater so much.  Well if I was here before I know I was dramatic.  At least in my younger days.  I have  calmed down quite a bit during the last couple years.  One thing is for sure - I have slowed down.  In fact if I get any slower I'll be moving backwards.

But for now, right this minute, I am living my life exactly the way I want to and will continue to do so and am thankful that I have had the life I've had and will have until the end.